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Introduction to a Future Doctor and Leisure Philosopher
Hello all! My name is Vinay Kalvacherla, and I am a sophomore Religious Studies, pre-med major. Many people wonder why I chose this major - when I introduce myself to people, one of their first questions is usually always, "what are you going to do with that?" That question usually becomes clear when I tell them that I am pre-med; but regardless, people often wonder why I'm not a stereotypical biology or biochemistry major. My reason for pairing Religious Studies and medicine stems from many things. Primarily, I came to college to learn more about people. I believe that it's impossible to be an effective healthcare provider without knowing about people and being able to interact with people. And, more specifically, I feel that religion is a foundational aspect of understand why and how people think the way they do - another consideration that can significantly impact patient-provider interactions. Having said these things, does that mean that my sole purpose of stud...
Hi Vinay! First off, I love your design on the website. It is so clear and easy to navigate and just pleasing to the eye. I also really enjoyed your introduction. I think most everyone was very upset with how Rama treated Sita. He loved her and yet he couldn't trust that she didn't cheat on him? Sita put up with a lot of crap from Rama. I think your story is going to be really interesting since its from a different perspective and it seems like you're going to give Rama hell for being such a jerk. I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHey Vinay!
ReplyDeleteAs Chelsee said, I love how you set up the layout and design of your storybook. I think you did a great job introducing the characters, and you provided enough background on each of them that if someone hasn't read the background they wouldn't miss a beat. I think the only part where you could use more description is talking about Sita. Maybe you could include Sita's appearance as well?
But, I'm super excited for you idea and storybook. I just love how typical mama bear is taking control! I mean, Rama deserves every bit of it, because it makes me angry the treatment he gave Sita after fighting so hard to find her. I'm just so curious what's going to happen! I'm also impressed how well the introduction flowed and passed on so much information in relation to how short the intro was.
Anyways, I can't wait to read more stories to see where you go with this. Very creative and cultural, great job!!
Hi Vinay,
ReplyDeleteI like the setup of your storybook, especially of how easy it is to navigate through the pages. I also like the pictures you used for your introduction. It ties it well to the story. I was not happy with the ending of Ramayana either, I was disappointed in Rama. He went to rescue his love of life from Ravana, yet few days later he exiles Sita again just because of a rumor from a townsman. I can't wait to read your stories and see how you recreate the ending of Ramayana. I wonder what Bhumi is going to do to Rama for asking Sita on a trial by fire? What does Sita wish to do? I think you should also give a brief overview in your introduction of what you are going to be talking about for the upcoming stories. Overall, Good job! I Look forward to see what the stories will be about.
Hello Vinay!
ReplyDeleteMy first impression of your story book was "OOoooo!" I like the home page picture. I love nature so that is right up my alley! It was easy to navigate your page. However, the one thing I would suggest is to flip the order of the pages to "Home" "Link to Bio" "Her Body" . I suggest this because, I was expecting an introduction to let me know about the story but I naturally clicked to the next page which was "Her Story". Other than that I enjoyed your story and your story! It caught me by surprise that Rama exiled Sita because you would think a person that fights so hard to get his wife back that he would trust her. I honestly thought there should definitely be some consequences for Rama for doing such thing. I am looking forward to seeing how you recreate this story.
Hey Vinay!
ReplyDeleteLet me start out by saying that I loved your storybook! Your title was definitely was got me interested in reading it. Picking out a title is always difficult, in my opinion, because you want it obscure enough to spike someone's interest but also convey what you are going to write. You did that with your title. When I read Earthen Perspectives, I didn't understand it until after I read your intro. It went perfectly with your writing. Your storybook layout was super easy to navigate. It was organized without being boring and didn't have too much where it felt overwhelming. Not only that, but it set the tone for your writing. A lot of people don't realize that they layout, pictures, and even the font set the mood or tone you're going for. Your choices really added to your storybook. As for your introduction itself, it was such a great read! You picked a great subject to write about. I was super pissed when I first read the part of the Ramayana. Writing in the Earth goddess's point of view was a great idea. Good job
Hi Vinay!
ReplyDeleteI really like your topic! The whole thing with Rama questioning Sita's fidelity after everything she'd been through, then exiling her really ticked me off when I read it. I wanted to jump in that book and smack him upside the head. Then, he dared to try and give her another trial by fire?! I love that you're retelling this story in such a way that exposes the cruelty of it. I hope you give Rama his comeuppance! Now, onto more prosaic things. The way you've set up your site is really beautiful. I love the pictures and the font that you chose. Your introduction was well written and drew the reader in quickly. It set up your theme very well without giving too much away. Just one quick punctuation question. When you say full luscious green trees, you have a colon after full. Should that be a comma? Anyway, really great job, I can't wait to read more!
Vinay, I just read your Storybook introduction. I, too, was infuriated with the ending of the Ramayana because of Rama's behavior in questioning Sita's fidelity I even wrote one of my class stories with a completely different ending to the epic! The introductory paragraph and the subsequent interruption was an interesting way to get reader's attention and make them realize that you in fact DO NOT think that Rama questioning Sita is acceptable. I admire that you talk about Rama's positive attributes while also explaining that his behavior is despicable. Going forward into your stories, I hope to see a lot of your project focusing on Sita's perspective. Choosing Bhumi as the narrator, though, was such an interesting choice. I never would have considered making Bhumi the one to tell the tell of the Ramayana, but I am sure that this will only aid you in adding your own voice to these tales. Good job on this! I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.
ReplyDeleteVinay,
ReplyDeleteI read your storybook introduction and I have to say I am excited to read more of what you have to offer. I am also writing about Rama and Sita as I think their story has been the most interesting to me compared to all of the other stories we have read so far this semester. I like how you have a narrator and different perspective to tell the story of the Ramayana as I don't know if anyone else is doing something so unique. Thank you also for having a very simple but classy storybook set up as I thought it was very easy to navigate through your page and find everything I needed to. I will defiantly bookmark your page to see how you continue to develop this story into a full storybook. Hopefully you will be able to read my own adaptation of the Ramayana as well as the semester goes along.
Hey Vinay! I love, LOVE your website design on the home page! It looks like an actual book cover, which I think is so cool. I also like that you chose to write in the perspective of Bhumi, because we don't see her character in the Ramayana at all. I also loved the beginning of your storybook because it described a bit of the Ramayana plot in there, the reason for Sita's second exile, and the reason why Bhumi is upset at Rama. I'm excited as to what Bhumi will do later on in the story! She seems like she's ready to wreck havoc on Rama's life, so that should be interesting! Your layout is also super easy to navigate through and everything flows so well with your writing. I hope to read the rest of the storybook soon! Good job overall and good luck with the rest of it :)
ReplyDeleteVinay!
ReplyDeleteAs someone who loves graphic design (I have no skills, but I love to look at graphic design aspects), I cannot tell you how much I love the layout of your project! The layout is beautiful and clean. You picked the perfect photograph and colors for this, and they even flow so well with your project.
Besides being distracted by your beautiful layout... I really enjoyed your stories! Your story 'The Heroic Boar' was so well-written. I was unable to find any grammar errors. Your story flowed so well. I enjoyed the first-person perspective that you tell the story from. This is something I always love to see in these retellings, because they bring such a different element to the stories. And naturally, your layout of your story was gorgeous. I love the photo you chose for this story. The colorful boar looks amazing against the clean, white background.
Your project is off to such a great start! I cannot wait to see the final product!
Hi, Vinay!
ReplyDeleteI recognized that you are using a different website for your stories. I really like the cover page of your storybook and your writing strategy. In the first paragraph of your introduction page, you attract the reader by telling a little bit of your story first. Then, you backed up and introduce yourself as Bhnumi (Sita’s mom) to the readers. You also didn’t forget to introduce Sita, Rama, and King Janaka. The last line of the introduction page shows that you are strong and you are going to something to punish Rama because of the way that he treated Sita. I can imagine a mother tries to protect her previous daughter. One suggestion that I want to make is that perhaps you can reposition your images to the middle of your page instead of the bottom. So that the readers can see them while they read. Overall, I enjoyed reading your stories and I look forward to read more.
Hi Vinay! I really like your website for your storybook. I really liked how you started your introduction. You do a fantastic job of grabbing the readers attention by starting off with dialogue in which it alludes to something that maybe happening at a later time. I think this strategy keeps the reader wanting to read more. Your overall writing strategy is fantastic. I think you know how to relate with the reader and make it easy for them to reader to stay engage. Good luck with the rest of your stories!
ReplyDeleteVinay, I just read your second Storybook story, the Heroic Boar. I have to say that I love the character of the Earth Goddess, Bhumi. She is very self-righteous, but in the best way. She knows her worth and power and wants people to respect her as they should respect the one who sustains all human life. The outline of your tale is great, as well. You really know how to grab the reader's attention, such as when you "accidentally" spoil the fact that Hiranyaksha will lose the battle in Bhumi's retelling of the story and when you break down the meaning of Bhumi's name. The one thing that I could suggest would be to change the title of the second story, as Bhumi and her powers were definitely at the center of it, and although the Boar was important to the defeat of Hiranyaksha, the Earth goddess was the one who facilitated it and knew what would happen. Since this tale is really about her, I would have that come across somehow in the title. Good job on this!
ReplyDeleteHello there Vinay!
ReplyDeleteWow, first off, your storybook looks freaking fantastic. It is very sleek and has a wonderful design! Your writing style is quite incredible, I have to say. I am not super familiar with the story, but you really did a great job catching my attention. I loved the details and I seriously couldn't seem to find a single grammatical error! I loved the way your writing style flows and how you surprise the reader with your unique ability to keep things interesting. I also love how badass Bhumi comes across as. I think she really fits the narrative of the movement women are making to become more powerful members of society and it is exciting and refreshing to see it within your storybook! Seriously, keep up the good work! Your writing skills definitely stand out among the rest of what I have seen in my class. Great job!
Hi Vinay, I'm from the mythology and folklore class dropping in to comment on your story. The design of your storybook is stunning! I love what you were able to do with the Wix site — it seriously opens on such a beautiful cover page. I also really like your writing style. I haven't read your source material so I don't know the story of Varaha and the demon Hiranyaksha, but your narration from Bhumi gives the story so much life that it's easy to understand, even from the outside looking in. Your characterization of Bhumi gives that character a lot of voice and almost a flippant, smart-alecky tone, which is super fun. I also really appreciate the casual tone you start each of your stories with — I feel like Bhumi is telling a story to me personally when I read it. Great work — your writing is fantastic and I hope I get the chance to read more from you this semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Vinay! Such great work here! I really love the design of your site and how clean it is. I may have to take some of that inspiration into my own website designs in the future!
ReplyDeleteAll of the photos that you use are so detailed and such a great quality. They really enhance the story and give it such great imagery.
One thing that I would really suggest working on is connecting your stories. Since this is all the story of one goddess, maybe you can bring in an overarching theme which connects why she is telling us these specific stories? I am sure there are so many stories about this one goddess, so why did she choose to share these specific stories? However, your writing and story telling within each story is truly great so this isn't a major concern, t would just enhance the overall effect of the storybook.
Hey Vinay!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I really like the look of your website. The home page was really cool because you picked such a good picture. It also fits your theme really well. In fact, the pictures on all of your stories are really great. I think it would maybe be cool if you could somehow put some pictures at the beginning of the story instead of the end. If you do that, it could be easier for your readers to paint mental pictures as they are reading. They will have something to base it off instead of just coming up with something on their own. Your stories were also really great. I kind of agree with some of the other students that connecting your stories might be a good idea. I feel like you can do this with just small connections. You wouldn’t have to do anything major. But great job!
Hey Vinay!
ReplyDeleteOh boy. I am super excited about this. I loved the angry mom approach in the introduction, and I wholeheartedly agree with her. I think you did a wonderful job setting up her character and personality. However, I will admit I was expecting a continuation of what was presented in the intro. I thought it might be about Bhumi watching over Sita and her dealings with Rama. I still enjoyed the stories, though! I'm glad Bhumi's personality and sass carried over into what you did write. She definitely sounds like she'd be a protective and feisty mom. I loved hearing about her backstory and, in a way, what led up to her intro encounter with Rama and Sita. Your retelling of the story of Bhumia and Vishnu and the boar was way cooler with Bhumi's emphasized role. I liked how you made it clear just how powerful and intelligent she was, but still allowed her to keep her sassiness. Similarly, in the last story, you have everything play out according to her plan. Keep up the great work!
Vinay,
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the design of your website! It is so clean and simple; it was so easy to find each story and was just intricate enough to match your great writing. As for your writing, it was equally impressive. The introduction really caught my attention and I was excited to read your stories. I wrote my project from the perspective of a god, so our topics are very similar. I learned a lot through your project, and I will definitely want to implement some of your ideas into mine. I loved your use of casual language. This made the goddess Bhumi very relatable and seem real. Just like yours, my posts were all from Yama's perspective, so you get to know about the narrator while the story is being told. All of your stories were very different, but they also showed many different parts of the Goddess of Earth. Keep up the great work, and I look forward to seeing what your next stories entail!
Hi, Vinay. I just read your Storybook story, The Might River. As with the introduction and last two stories, Bhumi's character is fun because she is kind of sarcastic and cocky, but she knows her worth and wants others to know it, too. You do a great job of providing background information and summarizing important events. It was cool that you included the origin story of how the Ganga got its waters into your project. Something that I would suggest would be to change "the chivalric male that my friend Brahma was" to something like "being as chivalric as my friend Brahma was." I say this because there's this thing that people seem to be doing often about calling women "females," and it really irritates me because it is so inappropriate. They use the term "man" when referring to one, but "female" when it comes to a woman, and this is derogatory. Calling a woman a "female" takes away her humanity. So, I would recommend not calling a man a "male," either (although Brahma is a god, lol). I know nothing sexist is intended here! Anyway, good job on this, as usual!
ReplyDeleteHi Vinay,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading through your storybook. I liked that your introduction explained your main character and tied her into a reading that most people reading this would be familiar with. It served as a really great starting point and clarified a fairly confusing character. Out of your two stories I particularly liked "The Heroic Bear". I think the concept of showing Bhumi's silent hand in most of the events of the epics works really well. Having her explain that she did not mind have others like Vishnu take the glory really helps the reader get a feel for her personality as well as explain why so many of the legends that she appears in do not feature her as the man hero. I would say that you might want to add a couple sentences here and there in your second story explaining the differences and similarities between Ganga and Bhumi. I found that story a little harder to follow than your first. I think just a little more explanation would be very helpful. Overall, well done and I look forward to reading more!
Hey Vinay! I really love your storybook so I decided to come back and see what new amazing story you have posted. Let me just say that I wasn't disappointed! I think last time I only got to read the introduction. I love the tone you set for Bhumi! She is such a powerful goddess and like she says, we tend to forget it. Her character has this indignant voice when she is talking. I love her character a lot. She is this mother figure but also a bad ass that has all this power at her finger tips. People underestimate her because she doesn't use it to wreak havoc on the people who mess with her. You stories are well written and are a very interesting read. I didn't notice any mistakes regarding grammar or anything. I do have one suggestion about the choice of layout in your story. I notice that you put your picture choice on the bottom. I suggest to maybe put it in the beginning of the story. You did a great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Vinay. First of all, I really like the design of your site. It is very clean and organized. Your layout makes it very easy to navigate and your images are great! I really liked your introduction page. I thought it was very creative to call it "Her Story" and starting with dialogue really grabbed my attention. I liked that your introduction explained your main character and tied her into the stories. I read your story "The Mighty River"and I really enjoyed your writing. I love how Bhumi is kind of sarcastic and cocky and I think you did a great job of developing the characters and explaining the events. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteHi Vinay! First of all, I really liked how simple it was to navigate your project, and overall how simple the look and feel was. Sometimes simple goes a long way. Haha. My favorite part about “Her Story” was how you took in some time to explain who “her” was. My favorite part about the dramatic ending when you say “Don’t underestimate me.” I did wonder more on the thoughts of the characters. I think dialogue would be a good option to make that happen, so you can add in some conversations into your story, as well! Other than that, I thought you did a great job developing your project! I thought the pictures you picked were great! In particular, I appreciated the picture of Ganga. This was a different and unique touch. I look forward to reading more of your stories as you continue to blog for the semester. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Vinay!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy the setup of your site. It's very easy to navigate and there is no wasted space. Everything seems to add to your stories.
Your introduction does a great job of letting me know what the rest of your project is going to be about. I think you chose a very interesting topic. I really appreciate your author's note in the first story, especially the explanation of Vishnu's ten avatars as I am not as familiar with that. I also think that it is really neat that you were told the original story when you were younger.
I think you have done a good job of using humor and sarcasm throughout your stories and have really developed Bhumi's personality.
You have also chosen very interesting and fitting pictures and GIF for your stories, which is a nice touch.
My only suggestion would be to put the link to your comment wall in your Home page as that is where it seems most people have put it, making it easier to find, but there is also nothing wrong with having it as its own page.
You have done a great job on your project!
Hey Vinay!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your site design. It is so much sleeker than any of the other blog sites I've been seeing and looks quite professional. The mix between beautiful pictures and a very minimalist design works well for me.
This also feels weird to say since this isn't something I normally pay attention to in blogs, but I really like your font choice. It feels unique and stands out against the other websites I have been looking on.
As for the storytelling i really like that it is a first person story. It allows the stories to feel a bit more personal and relatable than the original telling of them are.
Hi Vinay,
ReplyDeleteGreat stories. I really enjoyed reading your project and followed along nicely. Your site alone really intrigued me with its clean feel and easy navigation. The picture that you have on your home page really does capture the essence of your project's theme really well. I also think that your introduction did a fantastic job of setting the reader up for success while reading your stories. I love that you gave the readers background knowledge of your prior encounters with Vishnu in his other forms. One thing I would recommend would be to maybe have more visuals in the stories that you have provided. Because you are retelling previous encounters it would give you more opportunities to provide aids for you reader's as the go through your stories so that they can actually imagine the story vividly!
Great job! And good luck with the rest of your semester :)
Hello again! As per usual, I loved your latest story! I think it blended well with the first two, and again showcased Bhumi's powers and wisdom. The title was eye-catching, and the story was just as interesting. I like that I can clearly see where your inspiration came from, as you explain in your author's note. I also really like that you mention Rama as if he's reading these stories and leave him with a warning of what may happen to him if he steps out of line. I felt as if that really represented Bhumi's sassy and unwavering nature, as it also keeps in line with her sense of justice.
ReplyDeleteBased on your author's note, I am very excited for the next installment, as it addresses Rama directly! I think that will be so fun and will serve as a great final story for your Storybook! I wonder if you will use dialogue between Rama and Bhumi for it? Or will Bhumi simply address him and his actions from afar? How will she feel about him?
Hey Vinay! I think I have mentioned before how much I love your storybook. This is my third time visiting your project and I have to admit that your storybook is one of my favorite projects in the class. You are such a gifted writer and have a way of making each story better than the last. Your writing is so vivid and engaging. I've said before how you can really see Bhumi's character. You didn't write her as this flat character. You gave Bhumi personality. A personality fit for her power and position. She is loving and modest but still has this bit of arrogance and brassiness when she is messed with. I think another thing that you do that many people do not realize is important is that you include a detailed author's note. I haven't read some stories that people have written about so I rely on the author's note to know what the original story was. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Vinay! I have read two of your stories and they have all been very well written. So, I first have to say that I really enjoy your writing. I am leaving this comment on the on The Heroic Boar. First, I am very enthused that you chose this story to write about. As a biology major, the fact that the story line loosely follows (to use your words) the chronology of evolution is very interesting to me. Also, I can really appreciate how you embellished your story to differ just a little from the original. Dramatizing Bhumi's role adds another dimension to the story. The only minor that I could offer any feedback on is that I would like to hear more detail about is the root of Hiranyaksha's selective immortality. That part always left me feeling a little confused, not in the story as a whole. You're story flows very well. But personally, I always wanted to hear what the source of the stipulation was on his immortality. Otherwise, awesome story and I look forward to reading more things from you in the future.
ReplyDeleteHi Vinay!
ReplyDeleteI love love love that your Storybook is from the perspective of Bhumi, though I may be a bit biased, since my storybook looks at new reincarnations of Lakshmi. I am definitely in the "not super impressed by the way Rama treats Sita" camp. It never occurred to me, though, to look at it through her mother's eyes. That's clever. I also adore the voice you gave Bhumi. You keep it consistent throughout, and it lends a lot to her characterization. One of my favorites is the very first part of the very first story when she lets us know she's "your dear sustainer, Bhumi." That's just so cute. Her voice brings all the little stories to life, and you have a bunch of other little bits that enrich it too. I'm a sucker for little details, like the celestial oceans. That just sounds so lovely. All in all, I loved these stories so much. I think you did an absolutely wonderful job constructing this little world.
Vinay, I had visited your project before and came back to read your tale, My Dead Son, today. The title itself is very intriguing. I was wondering about the emotional aspect that would be incorporated into the story, as I am sure that it is difficult for any mother to talk about losing a child. I also appreciated that Bhumi freely admits that not all of her children are inherently good. So often we see parents making excuses for their children because they love them and want to protect them, but Bhumi is above that. In this way, parents are blinded to the true nature of their children, even if that nature is ornery. This is extremely prevalent in our society today, so I think that it is great that that connection can be drawn between today's society and your story. Also, I love the sarcastic nature of Bhumi, and I can tell that she is totally in control. The writing style is very well-formed and fluid. The only thing that I can suggest would be to change the size of the picture that you have at the end because it is blocking out some of the text. Good job on this!
ReplyDeleteHey, Vinay! Let me first say that I love the layout and design of your website. I also used Wix for my project. I think it allows for a lot more creative design options than some of the other sites. Your layout, colors, and pictures work so well with your stories. I also really enjoyed your stories. One note I do have, though, is the connection of the introduction to the rest of the stories is a little vague. I thought the next story would be sort of a continuation of the introduction, but no worries because the other stories flow so well that it didn't really take away from the project. Your introduction and first story, "The Heroic Boar" are really good and I enjoyed them but the last two stories, "The Mighty River" and "My Dead Son" was a little hard to follow. They were very good but I think reading through and trying to catch some of the parts that seem convoluted would make them a little clearer. But it is the end of the semester, we made it! Enjoy your break!
ReplyDeleteHi Vinay!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that I got to come back and read the rest of your storybook. I really like the two stories that you have added since I last visited your site. I liked the third story "My Dead Son" a lot. I still really like that all of your stories are from Bhima's perspective since I didn't really notice anything from her perspective in the original stories. I did notice that in "My Dead Son" there is a formatting issue with your website ( which by the way is so well set up). The image at the bottom of the page is covering the last line of your text and is not centered. I think you either need to make it smaller or space a few lines of space between it and your last line. Otherwise I thought you did a great job and really enjoyed reading it!
-Elizabeth